scared of the dark

D + I went backpacking and camping at Henry Coe State Park -- which lies between San Jose and Gilroy just south of Santa Cruz. Sadly, we are nature wimps.
The hike to the campsite was downhill, which sounds easy. But for some reason, the decline really pissed me off. After the initial disappointment of our secluded site by the swimming hole -- which turned out to be a very pleasant spot, just not what dave romantically envisioned -- we found ourselves with loads of sunlight left and nothing to do. We tried swimming (too cold), reading (not focused enough), playing a stupid connect the dots game i used to play in church to make the sermon go by faster (really boring).
Then, at last, the sun set. But it wasn't to my relief, cause i'm scared of the dark in the woods. Thankfully Dave narrated stories he had recently read (a really depressing Flannery O'Conner story) and movies he had seen without me (Old Joy), which calmed me down and helped fall asleep.
And we woke up, and we were happy -- it was quiet and foggy and really pleasant out. Our ascent back into civilization was grueling -- my legs are still killing me -- but we ended up having a nice time. Though I don't think i want to do it again anytime soon.

new post.

In an effort to not be "clearscreen: infrequently updated," i mean really that's so played out, I will try to be more vigiliant in my posting. The problem would be, of course, that the content of the posts will be a smidge more boring.

For example. Last night I went out for drinks (now, how many times can one say that on a blog? "the truth" of my bar frequenting would be too scandalous), with some long lost santa cruz friends who are back in town to kick it old school style. needless to say it was a delightful get-together, and I came home later than I planned and way more tired than I wanted to be.

In a few weeks, I will be going to NYC for my friends wedding. Oh dear, I'm really looking forward to it. I just bought a dress for the rehearsal dinner, a purchase that demands another one -- new shoes. I want strappy, sexy ones with not-too-tall heels; but I can't find any around here that I like, and that aren't $200+. D. suggested, with all sincerity, loafers. . . something about gwyneth paltrow in "royal tennebaums". i don't care who wore what when, i'm not going to make the move from strappy-sexy to loafers. So, i think i'm just not going to buy a new pair of shoes.

Oh man. I just got a filling replaced. That sucked.


This past Saturday was the day of the big conference: "Analytic Scene: Translations and Transferences," a graduate student conference that Rob and I co-organized. It went off really well -- great papers, wonderful keynote address by Luke Thurston of Univ. of Wales, Aberystwyth. I also presented a paper, which caused a bit of Hist Con controversy. And I learned that I'm very good at reading my paper. I'm not so good at confronting questions -- No questions please, thank you. It was a tiring weekend, but everything went off well.

Seduction

D and I have no real idea what we're going to do next. And in order to figure that out, there's a lot that needs to be done. Resumes need to be drafted and sent. And even before that, jobs need to be available and appealing. I write in the passive voice, you see, because we have yet to actually do anything.

But in one of our more curious moments we decided to look at the real estate listings in St. Louis, MO. We've done this before, in a past when we had more liberty to consider wild, fantastical options. But recently, we had brushed StL aside as inconvenient and, simply, no longer on the table.

Then, I came across a house -- a simple, imperfect, vinyl-sided house -- in the best neighborhood, the neighborhood that, if I ever were to move back to my hometown would be the ideal place to live. And the house is nothing! $104, 000. Nothing! So I asked my dad last night if he would check it out, do a drive by if ever he found himself nearby. Which of course he did early this morning and promptly emailed me his report. It sounded so nice, he talked to a couple of neighbors who were out and about at seven in the morning: a "diverse" neighborhood, but safe enough for the seven single women who lived on the block, just yards away from a "stately" park, the park in which I had to take softball lessons as a kid.

Sigh. It just might not be feasible, though. Who are we? Certainly not home-owners.

So, That's Over

I passed my oral exams. I didn't pass prettily, if I recall correctly (it comes back to me in bits and pieces, the stuttering and awkward pauses, the misspoken answers, you get the drift). I thought that I would leave the exam with a huge weight off my shoulders. In fact, yesterday at least, I was feeling more anxious and uncertain than ever (i had some drinks last night and got a wicked massage today, so I'm feeling a little better).

But what should I do now? I could do anything! I don't have to stay in school. I'm no fool.
What if I became a journalist, or an essayist? I got a lot to say about the HBO show "The Wire." A lot. Hmm. Although it does sound pretty nice to write a book length exploration of fill in the blank. My committee's first comment to me, after my 3-hour bomb of an oral exam, was that I am "an excellent writer." How diplomatic.

How about a picture?



Dave and I went to Point Reyes last weekend. We stayed in a cheap motel in San Rafael, but we had a very pleasant hike to the coast. It was a gorgeous day.